Heylo, kith and kin! ^-^

For the third week in a row, the updates segment of this entry is going to be kinda sparse. #_# Er, make that super sparse, seeing as I only have a single update to report. >>; On the upside, though, it's quite a fantastic one!

Remember last week's entry, where I went on and on about how much I adored FontCapture.Com and the free service it offers? Well, I utilised said free service to the best of my ability, and guess what happened...?

I successfully created my very first font, that's what happened! ^o^ It took me quite awhile to fully complete --- Three days, hence why there's no other updates. Quite a bit longer than it'd take for most people, I reckon, but this is merely because I get extremely obsessive about things being 'just so'. -_-;

Some of the letters I re drew up to three times apiece, which I know is completely ridiculous, but I simply can't help it! When I create 'permanent' things like this, I feel the need to make them absolutely 'perfect', since they're going to stay that way forever. Fuck the fact that I could always go back and fix any 'imperfections' later --- In my opinion, it has to be done right the first time.

And the strange part is, I rarely care if other people agree with my views of what 'perfection' is and what it isn't --- When I'm creating things like this, ((It could be anything from making a graphic in PhotoShop to writing an Updates/Blog entry,)) It only seems to matter what my views are.

I've never been officially diagnosed or anything, but this, ((Combined with other abnormal habits I have, like the fact I always use my elbow to turn light switches off,)) Makes me suspect I suffer from some form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

... Wow, I'm really getting off topic here, aren't I? o_O; Here I am, supposedly announcing the birth of my very first font, and then I go off on a spiel about my possible mental disorders. Clearly, though, I've needed to talk about this and/or get it out in the open for some time, otherwise I'd just go and backspace it all. x_x;

But let's get back to the subject at hand, shall we?! @_@; As I was saying, although the font took me awhile to complete, I still managed to create a version I was one hundred percent happy with, and as a result, my very first font --- Simply entitled Mallory Maloney's Handwriting --- Is now available for download! If you'd like to snag a copy for yourself, you can find it on the brand new Original Fonts page, located in the Downloads section. And of course, let me know if you plan to use it at all! ^_~

Next up, a discussion on how good it feels to give random assholes the finger! Don't touch that mouse, 'cause I've got several exciting examples to come after the break.

And after that highly blasphemous break, we're back! Let's quickly continue onto the discussion of finger giving before the Pope himself arrives to toss a vial of Holy Water at my head, shall we? Not that giving random people the finger is any less offensive than an image of Jesus nailed to a crucifix sporting a broken arm, but er ... You guys should just take what you can get.

The first example takes place several years ago while I was out doing some mundane errands downtown. It was a perfectly warm summer day, and to celebrate this fact I wore a dress I had recently ordered from Asia --- An adorable pink and black striped dress which sported a full, black pleated skirt ... And to make this particular dress a little more Malloryish, I paired it with pink fishnets, black slouchy knee socks, and my black Sketchers ankle boots. If you can't quite imagine the outfit, then click here to see a quick photo I took that same day.

Obviously, when I was getting dressed that morning, I knew some people were going to stare. This sort of thing is entirely unavoidable when you live in a small city like I do, so I was expecting it and I was also planning to ignore it, as I always do.

However, what I wasn't expecting was for a lone old man to stare at me as I walked the entire length of a city block, whilst clearly thinking disgusting thoughts about me ... As illustrated by the creepy smile on his face and the way his eyes were permanently fixated on my legs. As I approached the bench where he was sitting, apparently waiting for a bus, I knew that he would continue to stare at my ass as I walked past, and I wasn't cool with that.

I wasn't fucking cool with that at all.

So I waited until I was past him a few paces or so, and then I abruptly twisted around. Sure enough, he was staring directly at my ass like it was a piece of prize meat ready for the grill.

Curling my upper lip into a grimace of disgust, I raised my right hand and gave the old cocksucker the finger, keeping my angry eyes steady on his to let him know I wasn't impressed with his creepy attention.

The look on his face was pure gold --- A mixture of confusion, shock, and distaste, just as I had intended. I continued to keep my middle finger raised until I turned the corner, and I like to believe that to this day, he thinks twice before doing the same thing to another girl. I dunno if this is the case, but I hope so!

Example two takes place just this summer, as I was crossing the road on a green light. I saw a van turn the corner from my side vision, and I knew that they had somehow not seen me as I stepped off the curb. Feeling reckless, I continued to cross the street as if the possibly of them running me over didn't exist, hoping to scare the shit of them.

When they squealed to a stop no less than three feet from me, I threw up my middle finger at them, turning my head just enough to gauge their reactions. It was what I assume was a father in the driver's seat, and a teenage son in the passenger's, and the looks on their faces was a combination of absolute shock and terror. You could tell that they both thought they had nearly killed me.

Now, while my actions might seem cruel here, I find it necessary to teach these types of drivers a lesson --- Otherwise, how will they learn? A few more blocks of someone driving like that, paying zero attention to pedestrians, and they might actually have seriously injured or killed someone! So I believe I'm actually doing some good when things like this happen --- After all, fear's a great learning tool, right?

Yes, I know I'm evil.

Example three happened this summer as well, as I was riding down a busy street on my bike. A car full of noisy teenagers was driving beside me at about the same speed, and I slowly realised that they were all yelling at me/about me.

Why, I still don't have the slightest clue --- I was wearing a pair of basic black jeans cuffed to the knee, a black tank top, and a pair of Chuck Taylors, so I knew it wasn't the fact that I had on a 'crazy' outfit on, and a quick glance at the sidewalk around and behind me showed that I hadn't just dropped something out of the backpack strapped to my back.

I don't know if this is common where you live, but here, strangers often call out a friendly warning if you accidentally drop something from your bag/backpack/pocket and don't notice, and they'll continue to call out until you take notice.

Clearly though, since I scanned the ground for several moments and saw none of my possessions strewn about, this wasn't the case. I quickly decided I didn't give a fuck why they were all shouting out the windows at me, and --- You guessed it --- I gave them all the finger.

I was quite delighted when their mouths all froze momentarily in shock, followed by more teenagers crawling over one another to get to the side window and take better look at me. Even better was the fact that as I flipped them off, I turned onto my own street at the same time, thereby turning my back on their vehicle ... So, of course, none of them even had time to return the gesture! I was instantly overcome with the childish 'Haha, I win!' mindset, which, of course, put me in quite a good mood for the rest of the day.

Example four took place a few years in the past again, when I was walking home from the grocery store. I was waiting to cross the street, and a woman pulled up in a car in front of me, ready to turn the corner. Since I wasn't in a hurry, I made no move to walk in front of her vehicle, and instead stood motionless, waiting for her to turn.

After a few seconds, she made eye contact with me and waved her hand in a sweeping motion in front of her, indicating that I could go first. I dislike when drivers do this, because they don't consider the fact that while they're telling me it's okay I can step in front of their vehicle, other drivers might not even notice me at all, and as I result I could get run over.

So I politely returned her wave with one of my own, as if to say, 'No, it's alright, you can go on ahead before me.' Usually when I do this, the driver responds with a nod or a smile and obediently putters ahead. This woman, however, was apparently determined to force me across the street before she turned. She responded to my wave with another wave of her own --- And not only that, but her wave was accompanied with a haughty scowl, as well, like I was ruining her day simply for caring about my own safety.

Seeing the look on her face, my anger instantly flared, so when I raised my arm yet again, it wasn't to continue the faux polite wave charade --- It was to give her the finger. For good measure, I also placed my free hand on my hip, planted my feet firmly on the ground, and gave her the most childish, bitchy, insolent look I could manage.

I wanted to give her the impression that I was a complete spoilt brat entirely in control of ruining her attempt at a meagre good deed --- Indeed, along with her entire day --- And I'm pretty sure I succeeded, considering the fact that her mouth began forming silent obscenities inside the sound proof bubble of her car the instant I displayed my middle finger. The way she squealed her tires as she turned the corner --- Purposely swerving toward the curb as she did so --- Only made the fact that I had ruined her good deed and her day totally certain.

I, of course, felt cheerfully empowered for several hours after this event.

And this last example starts very much like example three did: It took place this summer while I was on my bike, minding my own business and riding to the mall.

Suddenly, a flashy red convertible began driving alongside me. Using my peripheral vision, I glanced at the vehicle, and sure enough, there was several teenagers in the back seat, most of them busy staring at me.

In a good mood, I decided to ignore them, but after pedalling a few more yards, I still felt their eyes on me. Just to be certain, I turned my head to get a proper look at them, and sure enough, one guy was literally hanging out of the back of the car, staring directly at me.

My right hand loosened its grip on the handlebar of my bike almost unconsciously, my reflexes ready to flip them off, even if my brain hadn't fully decided what the best course of action was yet. It wasn't until my hand was hovering a few inches above the handlebar that I realised something --- The guy was still hanging out of his vehicle and staring at me, but his was also grinning widely at the same time.

For about half a second I thought it was the same sort of mocking, sarcastic smile that people who dislike me enjoy throwing my way, but I looked directly into his eyes and I realised he wasn't being a prick at all --- He was only being friendly. And not just any old type of friendly, friendly in a 'Hey, I think you're cute,' kinda way!

I felt my face flush with embarrassment as I gripped both of my handlebars tightly again, realising that I always assume people are thinking the worst about me. Thankfully though, I forced myself to recover and grin cheekily back at him, just before the convertible pulled ahead into traffic.

However, it was evident I had narrowly escaped total and complete humiliation, thanks to my over exercised Quick Draw McGrawesque middle finger, so there's a lesson to be learnt from all of this:

Always look before you flip.

... 'Cause you never know who'll be hanging out of the back of that metaphoric flashy red convertible.

>_>;