;She soars into the vicinity wearing a dress made of skeleton leaves, crowing about the cleverness of herself. After an aerial cartwheel or two, she floats downward, settling herself crosslegged upon the top of a bookcase.;

Hiya, friends! Today's another pretty special day here on mallorymaloney.com, 'cause just like last week, I've created a brand new page for you all to enjoy!

This time it's a new addition to the Informational Lists section, entitled Clever Cleaning Tips. ((Which was what I was crowing about earlier, yes.)) Be sure to check out the page if you've ever wondered how to remove scratches from the face of your watch, lint from the grill cloth of your speakers, or anything in between! ^_~

Next up, the Site Name/Username Ideas page was updated with almost twenty new ideas! This is always a fun update for me to do, because I can allow my imagination to come up with the most absurd word pairings, and then actually put them to use! ^^; I'd also like to thank Nicholas for making a suggestion to add to the Site Name/Username Ideas page: 'Eyes Bleed Rivers'. He said it was from a poem he wrote awhile back, but never used ... And that I was free to add it to the page, if I wanted. Still though, I felt bad 'stealing' such an awesome suggestion, so I instead used it as inspiration when I added the idea 'Bleeding Rivers' to the page. Thanks, Nick! *^^*

And lastly, I've added a bunch of new chortle inducers to the Family's Funny Quotes page. Prepare to launch the lollerocket to the rotflmoon and such.

Stop! Bloggertime.

I thought I had heard about/seen photos of all the crazy body mods out there, but the other day I stumbled across something both entirely new and entirely fantastic: Simple surgery called 'ear pointing', which make your ears look like Spock's.

Yes, surgery to permanently make the tops of your ears pointy like Spock from Star Trek's are! ((Or like an elf's, or maybe even a fairy's ... Depending on which fanbase you belong to. ^u^)) And as crazy as it might seem, I've actually been considering getting it done myself.

I've been reading up on the surgical procedure, and it seems quite simple --- The body modification artist cuts a small triangle shaped wedge from the top of your ear, and then carefully sews it back together with tight stitches.

After three or four weeks of healing time, they'll be pretty much complete! There's basically nothing in the way of complications, and infection is apparently being rather rare. So long as you keep your ears clean as they heal, of course. Sounds as easy as getting your lobes pierced, if I'm perfectly honest --- Although admittedly a little more painful sounding, haha.

Of course, I'd never just jump right into any kind of body modification procedure, nor recommend doing so to anyone else. I'm going to consider this one for at least another six months or so, just in case I end up changing my mind. If I had the money and the artist set up, though, I'd be getting it done before the week was over --- That's how much I love the idea of having pointy ears! *_*

If you'd like to see a few examples for yourself, click here to check out the ear pointing Canadian body artist Russ Fox has done. He seems to be very skilled, from what I've read about him so far! In fact, if I do decide that pointy ears are definitely for me, I'd most likely travel to the tattoo shop he works at in British Columbia to get them done. ^^;

How about you guys? D'you love the idea as well, or is it a little too extreme for your tastes ...? Feel free to be totally honest about this, as I'd like a wide variety of opinions!

On an entirely different subject, I may have finally figured out why I'm constantly drenched in a downpour of bad luck wherever I go. e_e; I suspect it lies in the 'Old French' meaning of my first name ... And the fact I was born on a Wednesday.

To elaborate, the Old French meanings of my first name are as follows:

Unlucky.
Unfortunate.
Unhappy.
Ill fated.
Ill omened.

And as for the day of the week I was born on, I'm sure most of you are familiar with the 'Monday's Child' nursery rhyme, the one that goes something like:

Monday's child is fair of face
Tuesday's child is full of grace
Wednesday's child is full of woe
Thursday's child has far to go
Friday's child is loving and giving
Saturday's child works hard for a living
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay

As you can see by the bold and italicised line, I was destined for fail the very second I popped out of me Mum's womb. -_-; And yet, while this is obviously a rather grim realisation, it's also a bit of a relief, really. I mean, c'mon, now I have the perfect explanation when things don't go according to my plans! And of course, being born on a Wednesday pretty much gives me an excuse to act emo whenever I want, which is always a bonus, right?

Right! ^_^

... Okay, so I realise I am fooling a grand total of zero persons with my attempts to look on the 'bright side' of my so obviously dismal fate, least of all myself. ._.

However, misery is quite fond of company, so click here to find out what day of the week you were born on ... And be sure to let me know if you, too, are a Child Of Woe. That way, we can be emo together! n_n

But that's enough emotasticness for today ... Because now it's time for an Internet based ragefest. =_= Y'ready? Good, 'cause I wouldn't wait around if you weren't. This rage is too strong to be contained any longer, so here we go: I am so fucking sick of seeing the exact same ads everywhere I surf online!

I swear to Satan, there's only half a dozen fucking ads on the Internet now. 'Find out how this lowly housewife cured her yellow teeth!', 'Follow this tip to lose four thousand pounds of stomach fat in twenty four hours!', 'I was a wimp ... Until I learnt the secret of getting über buff in less than three minutes!', 'Sign up for this RPG that allows you to discreetly view titties!', 'Turn yourself into a cartoon that will look nothing like the example shown in this ad!', and the slightly less popular, but still rage worthy, 'Google gave me a cheque for fifty quindecillion dollars to do nothing but sit on my fat ass all day!'

Every time I see one of these six ads, I have to resist carving out my eyeballs with a sharp instrument, just so I no longer have to endure the torture of viewing them. They're that motherfucking annoying.

... But I do believe that this ragefest is the high tech version of an old biddy shaking her fist at the newspaper, so I'm going to spare you whippersnappers the grandma impression and cut myself off right here --- 'Cause Hell forbid Mallory ever grows up, even if it is in a fictional/comical manner.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have adventures to attend to. If you'd like to join me in my adventure having, the address is second to the right, and straight on 'til morning. Oh, and you might need some fairy dust to get there, but don't ask me for a single speck --- Sharing is not one of my talents.

;She flits from where she was sitting on the top of the bookcase, the skeleton leaves of her dress rustling as she lands on the windowsill for a moment. Blowing her visitors a cheeky kiss, she hops out of the window backwards, dropping out of sight for a moment before soaring away, up into the darkening sky.;