Goodness gracious, great balls of fail! o_o;

I've been away for quite some time, haven't I ...? Quite some time indeed. In fact, it's been eighty six days since I last posted an Updates/Blog entry, if I've counted correctly ... My oh my.

And y'know what, I'm just gonna be honest here --- I don't even have a decent excuse for not updating, either, other than the fact I just felt like being a lazy bumfucker for the entirety of the summer ... When it came to the Internet, anyway.

Offline, I've been a whirlwind of activity and adventure pretty much every day ... Which, I suppose, did leave me kinda wiped out and thus added to my demotivation. o_O;

I was/am constantly going on walks, bike rides, visiting the library, the cemeteries, the mall, attending yoga classes and a fuckload of community events, celebrating two of my brother's birthdays, celebrating my own birthday, going without power for nearly a week after a hurricane blew through Ontario and uprooted several trees near our home, thus ripping out all of our hydro lines, and of course, attending the Green Day concert ... Which I'm still in awe about.

Nope, not even experiencing my first hurricane --- Which is absolutely unheard of in Ontario, may I add --- Could top the Green Day concert.

But before I say anything more about that, let's get a few updates out of the way, shall we? ^_~

First off, I added three new Affies to the Affiliates page --- Finally! @_@; A big thanks to Chelsea, Julianne, and Mallory for being so patient while I took my sweet ass time adding their links! ^^;

A small handful of new chuckalicious quoteage has been added to the Family's Funny Quotes page.

Be sure to click on over to the Drawings page, because I uploaded one new drawing of an anime style Billie Joe --- And no one wants to miss out on squeeing over an anime Billie!

And lastly, I uploaded a buncha new shots to the Photographs page, including one photobooth strip which I'm especially fond of. Go check 'em out! ^^

But enough of that! I know what you all really want to read about is a recap of the aforementioned Green Day concert I attended in Hamilton, Ontario, on 16 July 2009! So without further ado --- And as long as you guys understand ahead of time that this is the longest entry posted in all of mallorymaloney.com's history, with a literal word count of OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND! --- Then hey ho, let's go!

The day started off with me being so insanely excited I could hardly stand it. I was literally trembling with anticipation, my stomach was in knots, I couldn't sit still for any longer than thirty seconds, and I was sweating like a motherfuckin' pig --- All before 9:00 AM. Thankfully, me and my Dad were planning to leave around 1:00 PM, ((We live about three hours away from Hamilton,)) Or I don't know what I'd've done with myself. The possibility of my body exploding definitely crossed my mind.

After my Dad and I made ourselves look pretty, ate some lunch, and got our shit together, it was time for the seemingly endless drive to Hamilton ... In our rusty, noisy, dirty, dusty, hot, ancient blue Tracker. That's right, we had to drive that shitbox for over three hours on the highway, since Dad didn't want to bring our 'good' vehicle, ((A jet black Jeep Commander,)) For fear it'd get stolen while we were indoors watching the gig. And since it was, of course, eighty degrees out that day, we had to keep all the windows rolled down, to boot.

Thank shit I like my hair tousled nowadays, or I'd be über pissed, lemme tell 'ya. o_o

In all seriousness, though, I didn't mind that much at all --- My spirits were soaring high that day, and it was going to take a lot more than a a bit of road dust in my eyes, ears, and mouth to bring me down!

So after we got there, after we struggled to find parking near the Copps Coliseum where Green Day would be playing, after we refuelled ourselves with McDonald's salads and drinks, after we watched a little kid dance like a crazy son of a bitch to Green Day's song 'Holiday' outside near a beer tent, after Hamilton based photographer David Mceachern asked to take a shot of me and my Dad ...

... After we raged at the overpriced merch which anyone can get for half the price online, after we found the insanely massive line, after we stood in said line for an hour or two, after we got an extremely brief pat down where the female security guard told me that I was wearing a 'Cool outfit!' and had no idea that I stuffed my digital camera down my shorts, after we picked up our will call tickets, after we got our green paper wristbands firmly attached to our wrists, ((Or in my Dad's case, firmly attached to his arm hair, ROTFL,)) After we descended down a pair of escalators into the concert arena, it was finally time ---

To wait for a band called The Bravery to open for Green Day. Ugh. -_-;

In The Bravery's defense, though, they weren't all that bad --- Just not really my style of music! They're supposed to be a mix of dance punk and New Wave, but they sounded more like pop than anything else to me ... And I'm not really the biggest fan of pop music unless it has at least a slight rock vibe to it ... Like, for example, Avril Lavigne's music. ((Yes, I like Avril and her music. Fuck you. ^_^))

And, as Dad wisely commented, 'The lead singer looks like he's about to fall over the whole time.' >_>; He was doing some sort of strange 'lean ninety degrees forward and then lean ninety degrees backward and then do the same to your left and right' dance the whole time he was singing. He was somehow defying the laws of gravity.

I didn't understand. I still don't.

The lead guitar player seemed like a pretty cool chap, though! He kept getting everyone to clap their hands, which was fun, and he seemed more aware of the crowd in general than the lead singer did. Plus, he was way hotter. Normally I go right for the lead singers in bands, but this guy was a slice of nice. But that's beside the point! >_<; I refuse to turn into one of those chicks who only like a band for their looks. Absolutely refuse!

With the exception of The Bravery's guitar player.

But anyway, moving briskly on ... >>;

At one point during The Bravery's performance, there was two very loud, very sudden, very accidental explosionesque noises coming from the left side of the stage --- It made me exclaim and cover my ears, it made everyone else in the crowd jump, and it even made the lead singer twitch with surprise! I was shouting, 'What the fuck was that?!' repeatedly, and apparently everyone else was just as clueless. Certainly got the adrenaline pumping, though. o_O;

One more adrenaline adventure was when I was watching the lead singer, whom I was quite close to, while keeping a politely interested look upon my face ... And then I realised that's where Billie Joe was soon going to be standing. My began to beat slightly faster from the mere thought, and at that, I began to dance a happy little dance to The Bravery's poppy tunes.

Another adrenaline pumper --- Which actually took place before The Bravery started playing --- Was when this extremely drunk dude, ((By 'extremely drunk' I mean that he couldn't take a single step without stumbling twice,)) Decided he was going to push his way to the very front by befriending everyone in the crowd --- And his idea of befriendation was cheerfully bellowing garbled phrases into people's faces, as well as ((So I heard)) Grabbing random girls' boobs on his way to the barrier.

Needless to say, the pitiful dumbass got hauled out of there by security with his hands behind his back, while two separate roaring cheers from the crowd followed his untimely departure. And yes, I admit I was one of those cheering at his banishment, haha. I felt a little bad about it, but hey --- He didn't exactly go about his goal of getting to the front in an appropriate manner. I mean, honking random titties in public is rarely appropriate no matter what the situation, y'know? o_o

Unless it's, like, a fully consensual orgy or something.

Another interesting incident was when someone in the crowd produced a yellow blow up beach ball, complete with a smiling happy face and the name 'Christian' written on it. ((A tribute the same named character in 21st Century Breakdown's storyline, most definitely.)) It bounced on the crowd's hands about four times before a yellow shirted security guard snatched it out of the air and ripped it in half with his bare hands. The crowd booed and hissed and cried out in mock anger at him, while he grinned and raised his hands in the air, as if to say, 'Bring it on; I love being heckled!'

My Dad commented in a tone of thinly veiled sarcasm, 'I know why he ripped up that beach ball ... He feels it's a mockery to his security shirt. He thinks everyone's making fun of him.' Which I laughed too hard about.

I also laughed too hard --- Internally, mind --- When I noticed that the gigantic green and black tutu I was wearing kept brushing against the girl behind me. When I turned around to apologise, she shook her head no, as if to say, 'It's okay, don't worry about it,' and then proceeded to straighten and fluff up the layers of tulle, adjusting it so it looked neater. That was one of the strangest yet cutest things a stranger has ever done for me, haha.

After The Bravery finally fucked off, it was time for another long waiting period where roadies dragged The Bravery's instruments out of sight, and replaced them with Green Day's. ((My Dad had something to say about that --- Which you can read about over on the Family's Funny Quotes page, if you scroll all the way down to the bottom! ^_~))

Unfortunately, by this point, I was aching all over, but especially in the small of my back. It was hurting as bad as it does when I have really bad period cramps. I'm not sure why, as I had been sitting in a car for three hours shortly before, and on the concrete floor after that ... But it certainly put a damper on my cheerful mood. All I could think about was somehow getting a bottle of water to swallow a couple of the Ibuprofen I had in my pocket, all I could think about was ---

Sweet tit licking son of Mary and Joesph the drunk pink bunny is now running out to the middle of the stage and dancing to Michael Jackson's music which is suddenly blasting out of the speakers and he's chugging beers as per the crowd's request just like the first time I saw Green Day in 2005 and fuck my aches and pains I don't give a fuck if both of my feet have been sawed off like Dr Gordon in the first Saw film and what the fuck happened to Dr Gordon anyway oh well who gives a shit because there's the drunk pink fucking bunny!

That was what my mind was yammering at me as soon as I caught sight of the drunk pink bunny, and that's what my mind continued to yammer until he stumbled back offstage!

Now, in case you aren't familiar with Green Day's concerts, there's a sort of tradition that takes place before the start of every show since about 2004: An unknown man, rumoured to be a band member, but more likely a roadie, stumbles onstage to a jaunty prerecorded song blasting out of the speakers. ((This year it was a Michael Jackson song, in 2005 it was the Village People's YMCA.)) Said man in pink bunny suit is usually holding a bottle or two of beer as he weaves and dances drunkenly around the stage and catwalk. He also, as previously mentioned, chugs beer as the crowd cheers him on, along with other drunken shenanigans, such as humping the backs of the security guard's heads, attempting to moonwalk, and occasionally falling down on his chubby pink bunny butt.

But above all, what he does is get the crowd pumped up for Green Day's big entrance --- Now that any of us needed any pump uppage, but it just makes everything all that much more exciting!

Or in the case of one concert goer, the sight of the drunk pink bunny causes you to scream repeatedly, 'Duracell's better! Duracell's better!' Because, y'know, every single rose hued rabbit in the universe is an advertisement for Energizer. Obviously.

But anyway, now that you understand the delights of the drunk pink bunny, I shall continue the recap.

So!

Very shortly and very suddenly after the drunk pink bunny weaved offstage, all the lights went down ... And from the crowd, a roaring cheer went up. Then over our screams and through the darkened stadium came the sound of Billie Joe's voice, singing the first lines of 21st Century Breakdown's fifty eight second introduction, Song Of The Century, followed by the first few slow chords of the album's title track, 21st Century Breakdown --- And if I thought the crowd and I were roaring before, we were positively screaming then ... And keep in mind that this is all before Green Day even appeared onstage!

But we certainly didn't have to wait much longer, because a few short seconds after a digitally illuminated backdrop of a city's skyline lit up, the members of Green Day suddenly and quickly appeared in their positions around the stage, grabbed their instruments, and without further ado, the show began. Yes, kids. It fucking began.

As the slow chords continued in the background, Billie Joe grabbed his microphone, and the first thing he screamed into it was nothing other than 'HAMILTOOOOON!', which we, of course, loved! Then he got us all clapping our hands with just few claps of his own. Next, as 21st Century Breakdown's slow starting chords began to peter out, leading up to the song's upbeat explosion, Billie Joe marched down the catwalk to begin, guitar strung around his shoulder, until he was a mere four or five feet away from where I was standing. ((Which was on the left corner of said catwalk's barrier.))

As soon as he reached the end of the catwalk, the song really began, and he violently started to play the explosive chords with a huge grin on his face ... And that's when I lost it.

Up until then I thought I was as happy and excited as I could be --- I was already leaping up and down into the air and screaming and grinning so hard my face hurt, but when Billie walked down that catwalk, well ... I felt the happiest I have ever felt in my entire life, even happier than the first time I saw Green Day play in August of 2005 in Barrie, Ontario.

I was so happy, in fact, so insanely overjoyed, that giant tears welled up in my eyes and began to run down my face in rapid streams. I was so insanely overjoyed that I suddenly couldn't jump in the air, couldn't scream, couldn't even breathe. All I could do was stand there, grinning hard and crying harder, hands over my mouth as I whispered to myself, 'Oh my God. Oh my God.' ((My eyes are, in fact, spilling over as I remember this.)) Because there he was. My fucking role model, my hero, my inspiration for most everything I do, everything I am today, standing right there, mere feet away from me, so close I could see the tattoos on his wrists and fingers, so close I could see the spotlights gleaming off his gold wedding band, so close I finally believed he was real. Really real.

Not just some face that was plastered all over my walls, not just some voice that sang from my speakers, not just somebody on YouTube and TV and in magazines ... No. He was quite suddenly one hundred and twenty seven percent all fucking American real, and that was more than I could handle.

Thankfully, Billie Joe ran back up the catwalk onto the main stage to sing the first line of 21st Century Breakdown, and the spell was broken. I was able to move and breathe and scream again, but the ecstatic tears continued to stream down my face as I sang along with him.

Thinking back, if anyone was paying attention to me, I probably looked like the biggest fucking teenie ever to them, bigger than the girls who used to scream at the sight of The Beatles onstage in the 60's, who continued screaming until they passed out and needed medical attention. o_O; But y'know what? I didn't care then, and I don't care now. I was too happy to give a fuck!

After Billie ended the vocals of 21st Century Breakdown with 'Oh, scream, Canada, scream, believe what you see ... From heroes and cons ...' Green Day then instantly crashed into an amazing performance of Know Your Enemy. Sometime during this, I remembered I had smuggled in my digital camera, and began taking photographs ...

... Which was probably the very worst time of the entire concert to take out a digital camera, due to how insane the crowd went. x_x; Not to mention how insane I was going. Hundreds of people were shoving me first to the left, and then to the right, plus pressing into me behind, and I was still trying to jump up and down ... And attempting to take decent shots of Billie, Mike, and Tré simultaneously.

Massive fail on my part.

'Specially since, when I wasn't using the camera, I kept shoving it into the tiny front pocket of the black denim shorts I was wearing under my tutu. Why would I do such an irresponsible thing, I hear you ask? Why, I needed my hands free so I could clap on Billie Joe's command, of course. Mustn't disobey Billie Joe, thought I!

As you've likely guessed, my blind devotion to Billie Joe caused me to lose aforementioned digital camera sometime during the first half of the concert ... In aforementioned crowd's pushing, shoving, crushing, and humping frenzy. ((Yes, humping. At one point, there was a dude directly behind me who was jumping up and down and simultaneously humping my ass for at least half a song, before the crowd finally swept him away. Remind me to send the crowd a thank you card.)) So unfortunately, since I lost the camera, I no longer have any photos of my concert outfit before the show, save for the single shot that David Mceachern took of me and my Dad outside the Copps Coliseum.

Which really fucking sucks, I know. Not to mention all the shots I had taken of Green Day just before I lost the motherfucking thing ... But y'know what? I'm over it now. For a couple days after the show, I was extremely pissed at myself for losing it, but I accepted the fact that nothing could be done, and I tried to just forget I ever owned the thing.

... Until 24 July, that is, when I was reminded by a private message on the Green Day Community with the subject 'I Found Your Camera!'

I kid you not! Apparently, a random member on the Green Day Community had seen me posting in a few random threads, complaining about the fact I had lost my camera, and she sent me a private message asking if I had been wearing a giant green and black tutu, and if the camera I had lost was silver, because her friend had found one? I responded in the affirmative, so grateful to this stranger that tears immediately sprung to my eyes --- Not to mention how excited I was at the prospect of getting my precious concert, ((And concert outfit,)) Photos returned to me!

Now imagine my feelings when she replied back, telling me that she'd get the camera from her friend ASAP and send it to me in the mail ... Except for the fact that her friend had deleted all of the photos on the camera.

Second helping of massive disappointment, anyone? It was like losing the camera all over again! But thankfully, I was able to overcome the disappointment fairly quickly. After all, this friendly stranger could've just as easily ignored the fact she knew her friend had my camera, and thought to herself, 'Hey, finders keepers', right? More than what ninety five percent of the population would've done, placed in her shoes!

However, all that hooplah seems to have been for nothing, as I still haven't received my camera. Even after I private messaged her about it several times, all I got were, 'I'm sorry, it's just that I've been so busy!' or, 'OMG, I forgot all about it!', or 'I haven't been able to get to the post office yet!' type replies. No offence to the girl, though, as I'm sure she tried her best --- But I'm guessing her friend wasn't quite as willing to give up a perfectly good, perfectly free 7.1 megapixel Olympus FE 210 digital camera as the girl was, haha. Really though, I don't give a shit about the actual camera ... It was an amazing tool, don't get me wrong, but it was the photos I was crushed to lose. ((Twice.)) The camera's just a replaceable materialistic item, and as I said before, I'm pretty much over it.

Plus, my Dad brought along his Sony Ericsson cellphone, which has a built in digital camera, and while he didn't take any shots of me or himself, he did manage to take quite a few decent photos of the actual concert, which you can view by clicking on any of thumbnails below!

So now the only 'major' downside is that unless I can borrow someone else's camera, ((Or use a photobooth, haha,)) There won't be any new additions to the Photographs page, nor the Photography section for quite some time ... But I expect you'll all manage to survive until I acquire a new camera, haha. ^u^

But anyway, I'm going off on four thousand tangents here ... Let's get back to the concert recap!

After I spent all of ten seconds worrying about losing my camera, and another half hearted ten seconds kinda looking around on the pitch black floor for it, I turned my attention back to the show. Any other time, I would've been in full 'Oh my God I lost a precious valuable' panic mode, but at that moment I decided I just didn't give a shit. 'Fuck the photos,' I thought. 'Fuck disappointing mallorymaloney.com visitors. Fuck the camera. Fuck everyone in the whole world except Green Day, right here, right now.'

And so I fucked it all and throughly enjoyed the rest of the show.

After Know Your Enemy ended, my idols crashed into a third amazing performance, this time of East Jesus Nowhere ... During which Billie Joe told the audience he needed someone's 'firstborn child' to either 'save' or 'sacrifice'. ((What's the difference, when you think about it?)) After a bit of searching, Billie Joe finally found his firstborn, and pulled a boy of perhaps eight up on stage ... Announcing he was going to 'save' him. That was an amazing sight to behold, let me tell you.

Picture this: Billie Joe leaning down to whisper something in the boy's ear. The boy nodding in confirmation. Billie placing his hand on the boy's forehead and singing the next few 'slow' lines of the song ... Pausing a moment ... And then, as the song explodes back into action, actual twin explosions of fire go off, and at the same time, Billie gently pushes the boy's head, sending him sprawling backwards to the floor, as if 'God's fire' had suddenly taken hold of the boy's body ... And then picture all of this happening at the exact same time. Words don't describe how cool it all looked from an audience perspective. I can only imagine how cool it must've been for the boy himself! Lucky little bastard, him! ^u^

And he wasn't the only one! Billie Joe hand picked at least four more audience members from the crowd to participate in the show, namely to sing along and play guitar during Are We The Waiting, Longview, and Jesus Of Suburbia. While jealous of the fans, I couldn't help but feel somehow proud and especially happy for them at the same time ... You could see it written all over them that that were having the time of their lives, and that somehow took away most of the jealousy.

Once East Jesus Nowhere ended, Holiday began ... And holy fuck, that was another stellar performance. One of the very best parts was when Billie Joe sang, 'Bang bang goes the broken glass, man,' because when he sang the words 'Bang bang', two extremely loud, ((Read: So loud my eardrums felt as if they had burst,)) Explosions of fire went off in perfect unison with his voice. That was unexpected and semi frightening for just a second ... But that just made it approximately a thousand times even better than if I had've been expecting it!

Next up was one of my brand new favourites off 21st Century Breakdown, The Static Age, during which Billie Joe announced; 'Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Green Day tour 2009! Let's be in the fucking moment, this is our time! This is our time, right fucking now! This is our time. Fuck the goddamn television set, fuck all these fuckin' computers and fuck all these fuckin' cellphones. Fuck that shit! Let's put 'em away, this is our mind, it's our memory, this is our moment! Right now! If they weren't fucking here then, well, they can go fuck themselves, y'know what I'm sayin'?! It's about us!'

During that pretty goddamn empowering speech of his, I suddenly felt glad I had lost my digital camera. I was glad as fuck I had lost it. 'Billie Joe's right.' I thought to myself, as I happily sang along with every word of The Static Age. 'Who wants a bunch of shitty digital photos composed of a bunch of shitty pixels on a shitty computer screen, anyway ...? I sure as Hell don't!' After that song ended, ((After an amazing saxophone solo by Jason Freeze midway through,)) It was time for another of my favourite brand new Green Day songs ...

Before The Lobotomy! My favourite line out of this song is, 'We are normal and self controlled!' Because it has a very sarcastic, as well as an almost desperate sounding quality to it --- At least to my ears. And so, of course, I screamed this line as loud as I could, my fist pumping in the air, while once again, tears began streaming down my face.

Good thing I had decided on the waterproof mascara and eyeliner.

Instead of ending the song with the original line, 'Songs of yesterday now live, in the underground ...' Billie ended the song with 'Songs of yesterday now live, here in Canada ...' Which was pretty goddamn sweet, in both the original and the newer slang definitions of the word. Oh, yes.

Next up was Are We The Waiting, when, as I mentioned awhile ago, Billie Joe picked a girl out of the crowd to get up and sing along ... She was so happy to be up there with his arm around her, she started crying and laughing at the same time. My own eyes felt a little teary just from seeing how happy she was up there!

After she jumped offstage and Are We The Waiting ended, Billie Joe ran back up to the centre of the stage, spun to face the audience, and, in an extremely un Billie fashion, screamed out the name 'Saaaaaint Jimmyyyyy ...!'

And when I say he screamed, I'm not talking about a chick screaming at the sight of a masked intruder in a horror movie. I'm talking an All That Remains style scream. I'm talking an Atreyu style scream. I'm talking a Trivium style scream. A Bullet For My Valentine style scream.

Wait, no. I hate Bullet For My Valentine. They're fucking pussies. Fuck 'em up the ass with something hard and sandpapery. In a non consensual manner.

But uh, anyway. Billie screamed in an extremely low pitched, growly tone, and it sounded so much unlike him that at first I didn't know who had vocalised. My head was whipping around as if maybe Billie had held the microphone to the mouth of a metalcore fan in the crowd while I wasn't looking --- And then the next thing I knew, the first insanely fast notes of St Jimmy blasted out of the speakers ...

And the crowd started going absolutely fucking insane. Suddenly the relaxed, friendly crowd turned into a fucking riot! It was exhilarating, absolutely exhilarating ... Although I admit my one hundred and fourteen pound body found the push and the pressure of the crowd a little scary a few times! I almost lost my footing once or twice, and another time I felt as if I'd be literally crushed to death, but I quickly realised that in a frenzied crowd, the best thing to do is not let 'whatever happen, happen'. The best thing to do is stand your ground and shove right the fuck back. And take a shitload of deep, calming breaths so as not to have a claustrophobia induced panic attack.

On that note, my already exhausted, sweaty self was pretty goddamn glad that the next song on the setlist was a slow one: Boulevard Of Broken Dreams, probably my favourite track off of American Idiot. And to make it even more special, it was an acoustic version ... Plus, Billie Joe let the entire crowd sing almost the entire song! That, combined with the fact I connect with the song on a deep personal level, made it yet another perfectly magnificent tear jerker.

This time, though, it didn't really matter one way or another, due to the sweat that was running down my face from my scalp by the bucket loads ... Not to mention the rest of me. I swear, you guys, by this point it was pouring from every pore in my body in little rivers, and here's proof how much I was sweating: Before the show I had weighed around one hundred and seventeen pounds, right ...? The day after the show, I weighed myself again out of curiosity --- And I was down to one hundred and fourteen pounds. I lost three pounds of water from my body in one night! One night! Insanity.

... I recommend it for anyone who wants to shed pounds fast.

No, no, I'm kidding, it was actually pretty scary, especially since bottles of water were absolutely forbidden in the concert stadium, except for the stage crew and security. I thought I was going to pass out from dehydration, man.

Thankfully though, at this point I had gotten pushed to almost right against the barrier, and one of security guards started pouring water from a bottle into some of the concert goers mouths, mine included --- Although I made the mistake of touching the bottle, which got me a splash in the face as the guard pulled it away from me at lightning speed, along with a 'OMGZ WTF R U DOIN THIS IS SRS BSNZZ' look from him. I hadn't known at the time that it was considered inappropriate concert etiquette to touch a guard's water bottle, since I've never been so close to a major concert's barrier before. Ugh. Needless to say, I felt like a massive n00b. But whatever, I know for next time, right? e_e; Right. Yeah.

After the emotional performance of Boulevard Of Broken Dreams, it was time for a song that centred around a different emotion when played live ... A certain emotion I like to call 'Sexy Fun Time'. ((Yes, I realise that measures of time are not types of emotions. STFU.)) That song was none other than Hitchin' A Ride!

But first, Billie Joe suddenly asked the crowd, 'Who's got a cigarette?! Someone throw me a cigarette. Who's got one?' In response, the crowd threw him three or four single cigarettes. Then ten. Then twenty. Finally, unable to catch one out of the air, Billie went and picked one up off the catwalk and place it between his lips ... While at this point, entire packs of cigarettes started flying onto the stage. Billie, however, was preoccupied with tying a black bandanna around his eyes. After this, he began playing a short metal sounding guitar solo blindly, ((It was probably something by Ozzy or Metallica, I'm not really familiar with all the classics ... But I'll rant about that later in this entry,)) Which everyone went absolutely wild about.

After that, he immediately went into Hitchin' A Ride, still blindfolded with a cigarette in his mouth ... Which he quickly ripped off and spat out before he had to sing the first line.

Midway through the song, Billie started belting out some 'Hey oh's for us to sing back at him, followed by a shitload of 'Hey's. After this, he did the whole thing where one side of the crowd cheers, and the other side stays quiet, and vice versa ... Then he blew us all a loud kiss into his mic. After we all cheered like crazy, he then stated in a smarmy voice, 'And that's why Canada's better than America.' He paused here, while everyone screamed in agreement. 'Works every time!' He grinned at us all, marched down the catwalk ... And then started making dirty noises for us to scream back at him.

He was right in the middle of a groan when he looked down, laughed, and then said to an audience member, 'Right now? You really want ... Right now?!' After another second of deliberation, he grinned and squatted down, leaning closer to the barrier and taking a piece of paper and a Sharpie from a guy about five people to my left ... And signing him an autograph right then and there! That was pretty goddamn cool of Billie, in my opinion. Then he got the fan to give him an autograph as well, on the back of his hand! Aww. ^^

When he straightened up again, tossing the Sharpie back to the fan, he immediately went into his dirty noises again for a few moments ... And then suddenly grabbed his microphone stand and pretended it was a four foot long dick, LOL! But that's not all, m'friends. He then proceeded to stroke said mic stand as if it were his own personal Sexy Fun Time for at least a full minute. Oh, how I love your faux sexual shenanigans, Billie.

After that, he kinda grinned and said to us, 'Dirty! You guys are dirty. Dirty, dirty dirty!' Another wide grin, and then he lowered his voice down a notch until he sounded as if he were trying hard to be serious. 'Ya'll are filthy filthy people! All this fornicatin'! Smoking the Devil's grass out there! I smell it! I can smell it. I can.' Then he stopped for a moment, another large grin breaking out on his face. 'You guys got fuckin' strong ass pot, man, I'm telling you.'

After appreciating the aroma of everyone's pot, he giggled in a giddy way while everyone cheered happily, then turned to the band. 'Okay! Wait a minute.' He gestured. 'Wait, stop.' The bassline of Hitchin' A Ride ground to a halt, and Billie turned back to us. 'Every --- Okay, listen, everybody's gotta make fucking noises, right now.'

In response, everyone screamed at the top of their lungs. Deafening, roaring, cheering screams. Not a moan or a groan to be heard in the entire place.

Billie grinned out at everyone for awhile, then seemed to get a little off track again. 'Fuck!' He intoned. 'I'm fucking getting high, right now.' Billie and the entire audience giggled and laughed in delight at this ... Then Billie remembered the whole 'fucking noises' catastrophe. 'That was the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life.' Was what he had to say about it. Then he paused and grinned, striking a pose. 'And it was the dumbest thing I've ever seen on weed.'

After everyone had another good laugh, he suddenly stage whispered 'Shhh!' Everyone quieted down in a hurry, and he started counting. 'I said a one, a two ---'

The audience bellowed the rest. '--- A one two three four!'

And we started cheering, anticipating the rest of the song was only a few more seconds away ... But Billie played with us for awhile longer, making us shout 'One! Two! Onetwothreefour! One! Two! Onetwothreefour!' over and over again, until at last our God was satisfied.

'Alright!' He screamed. 'Ahh ... We're gonna burn this fuckin' place down now.' He paused here, letting us all scream our approval. 'Are you with me?!' Screams of delight. 'Are you with me?!' We screamed some more, and then he continued.

'All it takes is a simple one, two, onetwothreefour and we're gonna burn this fuckin' house down, are you ready?!' We screamed our hearts out, and then began counting several times in a row, until Billie started singing the rest of the song. 'There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and I'm dehydrated ...' He sang softly into the mic. 'My tongue is swellin' up I say; One, two ---'

And here we all screamed together,

'ONETWOTHREEFOUR!'

And the next thing we knew, five pillars of flame seemingly four stories tall burst upwards from the middle of the stage, and even way back where I was, at the end of the catwalk, it felt as if the skin on my face and upraised arms was being scorched. The sweat began to flow even faster down my face, and I screamed in hoarse joy as the song ended, my throat and emotions both raw and abused.

Upon completing the song at last, Billie Joe grinned and blew yet another loving kiss to us all ... And then the entire band promptly flew into several 'teasers' of rock/metal classics once again. As I admitted earlier I'm not big on the 'classics', but I still thought the teasers sounded amazing, and I even recognised a couple of the tunes ... Although once again, I couldn't name them for my life.

What can I say, I'm a music brat. I don't claim to be a fan of 'classic' rock or metal just because everyone else has decided it's the cat's ass. Fuck that cat's ass. Fuck it hard. I'm only a fan of music if I like it personally, and the classics don't get a free fucking hall pass just because other people have decided they're classics.

;She pauses to smirk in a self satisfied manner.;

Continuing on! After the classic teaser orgy, Green Day immediately went into an amazing performance of another one of my absolute favourites --- Brain Stew!

The best part came after the entirety of Brain Stew, when Billie got a random little kid out of the crowd to shoot at us all with a gigantic water gun, followed by Billie shooting the left side of the crowd with a toilet paper dispensing gun, ((This part I only saw on YouTube later on. I missed out on that part while I was there, 'cause I was intensely focused on trying to get the little kid to shoot the water gun in my direction, haha ... I was so fucking overheated,)) And after Billie exhausted his supply of toilet paper, he began shooting white concert tee shirts up into the seating sections via a Super Bowl style tee shirt shooter! That was seriously cool, and I seriously envy everyone who caught a shirt, haha!

Next up on the setlist was the same song that always comes after Brain Stew on the Insomniac and International SuperHits! albums ... Jaded! Another one of my fave Green Day songs, this one was even faster than the studio version. I have no clue how Billie managed to sing anything at all, at the speed Mike and Tré were playing --- Plus, Billie was dancing all over the stage, doing jumps, kicks, even an epic barrel roll.

Yes, my friends. Billie Joe did a barrel roll. ((Try sayin' that five times fast. Actually, wait. Fuck that. Just try saying 'five times fast' five times fast.))

After Jaded and Billie's epic barrel roll, Mike began to strum the bassline of none other than yet another of my favourite songs --- Longview! ((I should stop announcing when songs are one of my favourites, because basically every song they played was a favourite of mine, haha.))

Longview was a performance that blurred the line between the band and the crowd, as Billie Joe picked an ecstatic girl out of the audience to sing more than half of the song! I'm gonna be honest, here: She was a horrible singer, but she had just as much energy as Billie himself did, if not more, so she was totally fun to watch.

After she left the stage midway through the song, Billie began to search the crowd again, this time for a guitar player. After a few moments, he picked one guy out of the masses to play ... Only to find out the poor guy couldn't actually play guitar at all. Billie sent him on his way, but not before the guy gave Billie a hug and a friendly hair ruffle. ^u^

I guess Billie gave up on finding a guitar player at this point, because he pulled up yet another guy onstage ... But just to sing the end half of Longview. This guy wasn't the greatest singer, either, but he looked so happy to be up there, I couldn't help but like his singing, haha.

After the song ended, Billie suddenly held up a hand and called out in a firm voice, 'Wait a minute! Wait a minute. Wait whoawhoawhoa! There's only one way of getting outta here --- You have to do a stage dive.' The guy grinned and nodded in confirmation, and then began backing up in preparation to make the leap.

At the same time, Tré Cool began a drum roll, and the crowd began a chant.

'Jump ... Jump ... Jump ... Jump ...!'

After a few anticipation building moments, the guy suddenly ran down the length of the catwalk and flung himself into the crowd! A spotlight lit up his form as the crowd moved him further and further away from the stage, and I afterwards, heard that he kept going even as the next song began to play. That song was none other than ... Basket Case! And what a stellar song that was --- Billie let the crowd sing several lines, and it's one of the best songs for a crowd to sing, in my opinion, because it sounds --- For lack of a better word --- So fuckin' magical.

After Basket Case ended, they went into a song that's a bit of a concert rarity: She! Some of my memories at this point are a little hazy, but I'm pretty sure that this was another near tear jerker for me. Thankfully, though, if there were any tears, they were quickly dried up when Billie Joe began to strut back and forth across the stage, a police hat having suddenly appeared on his head.

'This is the Hamilton Police Department.' He said in a fogey, 'offical' sort of voice, while the crowd started cracking up. 'Here to say that the show is over!' The crowd began booing in unison at that.

'I know what kinda shit's going on here!' Billie went on in his 'official' voice. 'Oh, hold on, I p --- I dropped something.' He interrupted himself, bending over to pick up an imaginary object while he fully mooned the crowd.

As we giggled our heads off at the sight of his ass, he straighted up, and then continued on as if nothing of note had happened. 'I know what's going on here tonight! There's a lot of drinkin' and cussin' and fornicatin' and all that shit going on.' This was greeted with more screams of laughter and approval.

'But you won't be happy ---' Here Billie paused, and then asked himself, while laughing throughout, 'What the fuck am I talking about ...? This song's called King For A Day, let's go!'

But this was no ordinary version of King For A Day --- This was a compilation of King For A Day, mixed with Shout by The Isley Brothers, Earth Angel by The Penguins, I'll Be There by the The Jackson Five, and Stand By Me by Ben E. King, all rolled into one! It was truly an epic emotional rollercoaster. First we got King For A Day, which was hilariously silly, then we got Shout, which was pure fun, and then Earth Angel, I'll Be There, and Stand By Me were, of course, all so romantic and lovely that I think the whole crowd started crying.

I know my dear old Dad was! I happened to look backwards as Billie was singing the Stand By Me segment, and Dad was singing along earnestly while tears streamed down his face --- And let me tell you, my Dad is most definitely not a big crier. I could count all the times I've seen him cry on one hand, and two of those times have been during Green Day shows.

After the beautifully epic cover compilation, it was time for another beautiful song ... A heartbreaking yet hopeful anthem of peace called 21 Guns, given a special acoustic touch courtesy of Billie Joe.

21 Guns was never a 21st Century Breakdown favourite of mine ... At least, not until I experienced it live. I can't explain why, exactly, but as I listened to Billie's guitar solo, watched flaming sparks float gently down onto the stage, and held my own green lighter's flame high above my head, it suddenly became more special to me than it had been before.

American Euology was next, and after the softly sung intro, it was quite the contrast in comparison to the songs played previously! Filled with furious guitar playing, sullenly angry vocals provided by both Billie Joe and Mike, Billie thanking us literally sixteen times in a row for attending the show, and perfectly timed firey explosions/hey ohs, it was one of the best performances of the night --- Probably because it was the last performance of the night.

... Aside from the four song encore, of course!

But before we got to hear our four final songs, both the stage and the stadium went pitch black for several long moments, only the crowd's cellphone screens, camera flashes, and cigarette lighters illuminating the darkness. After a few moments of senseless screaming and cheering, the crowd eventually began a slow chant on it's own, over and over: 'Hey oh! Hey oh! Hey oh! Hey oh!' and it continued until a word placed above the stage suddenly lit up. That word was 'Green'. Immediately after, a word next to it lit up, as well, which was, of course, 'Day'. One after another, first 'Green' and then 'Day', the signs alternately flashed on and off, until the crowd caught on and began bellowing each word in a new chant.

'Green ... Day! Green ... Day! Green ... Day! Green ... Day!'

Faster and faster we chanted in tune to the flashing words, slowly but surely, the stage began to illuminate once more, revealing Green Day refreshed and ready to play the first song of the encore ... American Idiot!

One of the coolest parts was that Billie Joe didn't even try to sing the first few lines --- Us in the crowd were allowed that honour. But my very favourite part was simply when Billie Joe screamed near the end of the song, 'Let's go, motherfucker!' in a furious sort of way. ((Hey, you all know I'm a sucker for random bursts of profanity! Haha. ^_~))

The second song of the encore was the nine minute long Jesus Of Suburbia --- And once again, a lucky fan was picked out of the crowd to share the stage with Green Day! This fan was a young guy who was sitting way up in the stands holding a sign that read 'Me + Guitar = Jesus Of Suburbia', which Billie spotted and asked him if he really could play. The kid must've responded in the affirmative, because Billie went on, 'Yeah? Y'swear to God? Alright, get your ass up here, kid, let's go.'

Said kid went on to play the first half of Jesus Of Suburbia without a single mistake, and again, as much as I wanted to feel jealousy, all I could feel was pride for the guy ... He looked so happy to be up there it erased all my Green eyed feelings straight away. Haha. Green with a capital 'G', get it? Get it? You got it.

After the guy handed the guitar back to Billie and left the stage, the song continued without a hitch and ended with a bang --- Actually, scratch that, it wasn't just a mere bang, it was an explosion and countless pillars of fire shooting up toward the ceiling of the stadium, that once again felt as if they were scorching my face all the way back from where I was standing.

And at this point, it wasn't just the heat of the crowd and the flames that was bothering me --- I also felt exhausted mentally and physically, dehydrated to the extreme, my feet and back were both fuckin' killing me, and my ears were ringing so loud/the pot fumes were so strong that it was throwing off my equilibrium. I wasn't sure I was going to make it to the very end at that point, and I was even considering getting the attention of a security guard to be pulled out right then and there. ((At the time, I didn't know there were only two songs left 'til the end of the show.))

However, all of my ailments literally fucking disappeared when I heard the first chords of Minority suddenly being played, and I remember turning around to gesture to my Dad in a 'HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEY'RE PLAYING MY FAVOURITE SONG' sort of way. I turned back around and I began jumping up and down and screaming with renewed energy and fervour, quickly forgetting all about how thirsty and tired and achy and dizzy I was ... ... Until Minority ended, anyway.

At that point I fell back to my pre Minority state times ten, so when Billie disappeared for a moment, reappearing shortly afterwards with his acoustic guitar slung over one shoulder, I admit I was secretly happy, because the acoustic was a sign that he was going to play Good Riddance ((Time Of Your Life)). But I wasn't happy because I knew I was going to hear one of my favourite songs, I was happy because I knew Green Day only played Good Riddance as a 'final song' for most of their concerts.

Yes. I, Mallory Maloney, biggest Green Day fan in the blogosphere, was happy that the Green Day show I was attending was nearly over, simply because I wanted to have a chance to sit down. And maybe have a drink of delicious water. And perhaps sneak in a nap. And some Ibuprofen. And a tube of Ben Gay. And a snack wouldn't have hurt, either.

But whatever. Whether I was being a pussy, or whether I genuinely had a right to feel grateful that the show was about to end, it doesn't matter, because despite my physical ailments, the important thing is that I stuck it out for the entire concert. For every single one of the twenty four songs, for all of the two and a half hours, for every drop of sweat, for every jump, scream, tear, smile, laugh, flame, and spark, I was there. I was there for every minute of it, and, even though I make a point not to use the word 'blessed' about happy events in my life, given the word's happy pappy religious sounding ties, I truly am blessed to have been there, alongside my Dad, to experience it all.

While I stood there amongst the crowd, staring up at Billie Joe as he sang and played the last few moments of Good Riddance and mulling this over, confetti shooters positioned along the catwalk suddenly began to shoot little squares of blue and white tissue paper upward at top speed, which then fell back to the ground in slow motion like giant snowflakes.

I gasped in surprise as the confetti shot into the air, so thick that I could no longer see the stage, but I quickly recovered, a grin forming on my face as I raised my hands into the air, catching handful of the confetti as it drifted down, then stuffing them merrily into my pockets. As the confetti slowly cleared, my view of the stage became unobstructed once again, and I realised over the wild, deafening cheers of the crowd that Billie was playing the final chords of Good Riddance.

In my weakened state, I felt that my cheers weren't loud enough in comparison to the people closest to me ... So I let my hands convey my emotion instead of my voice. I raised them high into the air in the shape of a heart, tears once again threatening to spill down my cheeks, and I stood there until I could no longer see Billie Joe, or Mike, or Tré, stood there until the stadium lights slowly switched back to normal. Only then did I let my hands drop back to my sides as I turned away from the stage.

I guess I wasn't so eager for the show to end, after all.

So take the photographs
And still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
Of good health and good time
Tattoos of memories
And dead skin on trial
For what it's worth
It was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable
But in the end it's right
I hope you had the time of your life