Greetings, fellow inhabitants of the Bloggernet! \m/

I hope you're all ready for a shitload of awesome, 'cause that's what this week's Updates/Blog entry is gonna be full of! Er, full of awesome, I mean. Not full of shit. 'Cause an entry full of shit would be rather ...

Crappy. o_o

;She chortles to herself in a manner most merry.; Ah, my own anecdotes never fail to amuse me. ^_^ But since I'm not too sure all of my visitors feel the same way, let us hastily make our way to those awesome updates, before I am stoned to death for my sins of punnage and lameousity.

>_>;

<_<;

One new returning Affie has been added to the Affiliates page: The very lovely, very funny, very talented Amber. *^^* She disappeared from the blogosphere for awhile, but now she and her site are back and better than ever! And yes, I realise this makes Amber sound like a brand of laundry detergent that's recently been improved upon, but think about it this way: Everyone loves new and improved laundry detergent. o_o

One new piece has been added to the Paintings page, which I'm very excited about! Firstly, because I haven't painted anything in years, ((Unless you count painting my fingernails black ... Which I don't,)) And secondly, because this new piece was made using watercolours, a medium I've never properly utilised until now. ^^

A new set of five photos of myself have been added to the Photographs page --- Finally! Due to the fact that I haven't had a decent camera up until this month, there hasn't been a single update made to the page since August of 2009, which, in my opinion, is atrocious. x_x; I'll be sure to make up for it, though, by updating the page on a more regular basis again. n_n

And now that we've gotten all the awesome updates outta the way, we can move on to the topic of today's awesome blog segment ... The awesome new pet I got yesterday! ^o^

That's right, m'dears, Mallory has herself a new pet, and it's all thanks to the aforementioned Amber! It all started on the evening of 22 February, while I was wasting away copious amounts of valuable time on Twitter, ((As most everyone in the entire world does nowadays,)) When suddenly, I stumbled across this Tweet of Amber's.

While my initial feelings were that of a congratulatory nature for Amber, my secondary feelings were that of jealousy, and unfortunately, jealousy always wins over when it comes to Mallory's feelings. x_X;

To help remedy these bad feelings, I shuffled away from my computer and into my Mum's room next door, where she was wasting her time in a similarly hip fashion by browsing Facebook. With a great, heaving sigh, I plopped down on the wooden chest next to her computer chair, my head hanging in an exaggeratedly depressed fashion.

When this didn't raise much of a reaction out of my Mum, I decided to amp up the act by flopping my limbs about in a dejected sort of way. After a few moments of this, she finally looked in my direction. 'What is it now, Mallory ...?' She asked in a reluctant tone.

'Oh, Mum,' I began, sighing yet again in a distressed manner, 'I'm jealous of my online friends. They keep getting new betta fish for pets, and I don't have any pets at all! I haven't had any pets since Sakaná died and Labyrinth ran away, and it's not fair.'

Sakaná was my first real pet, a black, magenta, and purple coloured betta fish I secretly bought from Wal*Mart on 2 December 2003 whilst under the guise of Christmas shopping. ^u^; He lived for nearly three years, up until 11 March 2006 ... When he died after my then baby brother Riley decided it'd be a neat idea to dump nearly an entire container of food pellets into Sakaná's bowl.

Labyrinth was a black male cat who showed up at our back door on a Friday The Thirteenth, on 13 August 2004. After much asking around to ensure he wasn't anyone else's cat, ((The fact that he had one very defining feature --- A tiny stub of a tail --- Made this task fairly easy,)) Me and my family decided to take him in and raise as our own. Unfortunately, though, during March of 2005, I was a few hours late with his first meal of the day out of pure laziness ... And as a result, he went elsewhere to look for food, abandoning me and my entire family forevermore. x_o; I see him occasionally around the city from time to time, but I do believe he's holding a lifelong grunge against me for missing his breakfast, because he always dashes off at top speed whenever I try to approach him.

After I caterwauled about Sakaná and Labyrinth for awhile, my Mum suddenly interrupted me. 'So y'want a new betta fish, then ...?'

At this, I sat up straighter, my eyes widening. I don't know what I expected her to say in response to my complaints, but I certainly didn't anticipate this! 'Yes ...?' I replied cautiously, halfway expecting she was asking me some sort of trick question.

'Alright,' Mum said mildly, turning back to her computer, 'I'll buy you another one, then.'

I blinked once or twice, letting this sink in. 'Really?!' I yelped.

'Yes, really.'

'Oh my God, yay!' I squealed, hopping from the wooden chest onto her bed and bouncing about on my knees in celebration. 'Wait!' I shouted, freezing in mid hop. 'Can we go buy one tomorrow ...?'

Here, my Mum sighed and replaced her hand on her chin, having had just about enough of her twenty two year old daughter acting like a five year old. 'Yes ... I suppose we can go buy one tomorrow.'

And guess what ...? We did! Not only that, my Mum was nice enough to drive me to three separate pet stores yesterday in search of the perfect selection of betta fish. The first store we went to only had about five or six bettas, and none of them looked too well cared for. In fact, one of them was floating near the top of his little plastic bowl, either dead or very nearly dead, which made me both angry and sad, so we decided to move on to the second pet store.

The second store had much better cared for bettas, thankfully ... But again, they only had about five or six, and even though I tried to pick one out of the small selection, I didn't really feel that any of them were 'right' ... So we drove to the third and last pet shop in the city.

And I'm glad we did, because that shop had a bigger selection of bettas than the other two combined --- At least twenty, maybe more --- Plus, you could instantly tell that they were very well cared for. They were all quite large and vibrantly coloured, they all seemed to be quite energetic, and water in each of their little plastic bowls was near pristine. All very good signs!

After closely examining every single betta five or fifteen times apiece, I still couldn't make a decision on which one I wanted ... And I was beginning to feel a little frantic, as my Mum was showing signs of exasperated impatience due to how long I was taking. My Mum isn't a very patient chick, but she should know that I'm not good at making snap decisions, especially when it comes to things I find über important. e_e;

Like, for example, deciding on whether I should buy a pack of Wonka's Giant Chewy Nerds, or a pack of Maynard's Sour Juicy Squirts. Or whether I should wear a tiara or a pair of cat ears on my head when I go out. Or whether I should use a 2px font border on a new layout's header image, or a 3px font border on a new layout's header image.

Or, whether I should get a red betta fish with a whitish face. Or a black betta fish with turquoise fins. Or a dark green betta fish with light green fins. Or a dark blue betta fish with navy blue fins. Or a mostly white betta fish with splashes of light pink, green, orange, and brown here and there.

What I really wanted was a betta fish with a white spotted black body, and white striped red fins ... But I wasn't too surprised when I didn't find a betta which looked even remotely similar to this description, considering I invented it in my head, haha. Still, though, the fact that such a betta didn't exist, ((At least in this pet store,)) Just made the decision even more difficult! #_#;

The betta I finally decided on, though, was the next best thing to my imaginary betta: A flaming red veil tailed beauty with hot pink stripes on his fins, and hot pink spots on his body --- Which you can admire by clicking the thumbnail below!

Obviously, at the time of taking the photo, he was still in the little plastic container I brought him home in, as I was in midst of preparing a new, slightly bigger home for him. It's a round glass receptacle that was previously a candle holder of my Mum's, ((Don't worry, I washed and then rinsed it out extremely well first,)) Which looks similar to a large, fat drinking glass ... And although he doesn't seem to mind it too much, it's still nowhere big enough. To straighten out this situation, I'm planning to visit the Goodwill on Friday, ((Fridays are 'half price days' at the Goodwill in my city,)) To try and buy him a larger bowl to swim about in ... Without spending thirty bucks. #_#;

Don't me wrong, for something as important as this, I'd normally I'd shell out thirty bucks without a second thought --- But considering that I've already planned to eventually get a proper two to five gallon fish tank for my new betta, there's really no sense spending more than necessary on what will only be a temporary home. ^^;

You might be wondering, 'Why the fuck is Mallory planning to get a bloody tank for a betta fish?! Everyone knows that bettas prefer teeny tiny spaces to live in!' Well, if you actually are wondering such a thing, then I'm afraid you are one hundred percent wrong, m'friend!

Don't feel badly, though, as this is a very common misconception ... One that even I myself believed in, up until I started re researching proper betta fish care yesterday. ((A prime example of this is the fact that Sakaná never had a home much bigger than a large flower vase, which I feel quite guilty about when I think back.))

The truth is, though, bettas are not meant to live in cramped conditions. Granted, they can survive in such, but that doesn't mean they're going to live very long, happy or healthy lives. When it comes to 'housing' bettas, always remember: The 'bigga', the 'betta'!

Which brings us to our second most common misconception of betta fish: The pronunciation and the spelling! Loads of people think it's pronounced/spelt the same way as the 'beta' version of a computer program. In actuality, though, it's spelt with two T's as opposed to one, and it's pronounced a New Yorker would pronounce the word 'better', not the pre release of a computer program ... Hence my 'the bigga the betta' pun above! ^_~

If you still find yourself confused, though, then simply head on over here and click the little megaphone icon listen to Dictionary.Com's pronunciation of the word betta. n_n

And if, like myself and Amber, you're a new betta owner, then I suggest visiting NippyFish.Net, a site devoted entirely to betta fish care! While it does get a little carried away with itself at times, ((For example, on the Feeding page, it states that one should only feed their bettas live or frozen foods --- Never flakes, pellets, or freeze dried foods. This is a wonderful idea, but not everyone has the money or the means to keep up with such an elite feeding regime ... Nor is it vitally necessary to do so, as the page goes on to grudgingly admit,)) Overall, it's been very informative and helpful, and I would definitely recommend it to both new and seasoned betta owners! ^^

By now, I'm sure you're all wondering what I've named the little cutie --- But to be honest, with all the betta buying and researching yesterday, and the Updates/Blog writing today, I still haven't had a chance to decide! v_v;

It's all good, though --- I've simply got to sit down tomorrow with a crisp stack of lined paper and a sharp pencil or two and jot down the one or two ideas I've got floating 'round my head, and then just build up from there ... With a little help from Thesaurus.Com and Dictionary.Com, if needed!

This is how I always come up with all of the ideas for the Site Name/Username Ideas page, and it's also how I came up with Skelly's name, ((In addition to visiting a bunch of baby name sites for further inspiration,)) And it's a method that's always worked beautifully, so I'm convinced that this time won't be any different. *^^*

By all means, though, if you have any name ideas that've suddenly popped into your head, don't hesitate to share 'em! Who knows, I might instantly fall in love with your suggestion and use it straight away. ^_~ Whatever the case, though, I'll be sure to update you all next week on my name decision, as I'm quite certain that I'll have come up with an absolutely smashing name by then. ^o^

So be sure to check back next week to find out what my new pet's name is gonna be --- Same bat time, same bat channel*!

*Before you all come to the conclusion that I deserved to be stoned on account of punnage and lameousity, after all, consider this: mallorymaloney.com's current layout has bats coming out the wazoo. So, if you think about it logically, the real sin would be not using this ancient Batman reference. o_o