Edit 10 December 2010: Just a quick edit to let everyone know that mallorymaloney.com may appear to be down for as long as the next two days, as I'm about to get several vital server updates done. I apologise in advance for any worries, annoyance, or inconvenience this may cause! x_X;

Heads up, everyone --- A few changes are gonna be taking place here at mallorymaloney.com, and soon!

Starting next week, the 'Updates/Blog' style entries I've been posting for the last couple of years are going to be done away with, and a new entry style is going to be introduced. In case you're a first time, ((Or terribly unobservant,)) Visitor, let me quickly explain what the old style consists of: A lengthly 'entry opener', followed by a detailed list of all the updates that have been made 'round the site, then several blog topics, and finished up with an 'entry closer'.

Now, as for the reason I'm doing away with this rigidly structured style? Well, because ... It's much too rigidly structured! x_X; For one thing, there's only so many unique ways you can say 'hello' to your visitors before completely running out of options; For another, I rarely have the time/energy/motivation/inspiration to update much of anything here on mallorymaloney.com, ((Like today,)); And lastly, attaching a lengthly opener and a highly descriptive list of 'hastily thrown together at the last minute' updates to the beginning of each entry ups the word count to a rather intimidating number ... For both me and my visitors! #_#;

With that explained, you can expect a very differently structured entry next week. I'd elaborate, but to be honest, I have several different ideas kicking around in my ol' skull and I'm not quite sure which one to pick just yet ... So you'll all just have to wait and see!

Now, onto something I spoke of on Twitter earlier today: Some highly annoying medical problems I've been having lately. For the past five or six months, on and off, I've been experiencing strange pain in my lower left pelvic area, especially if I waited too long to go for a pee. I figured I was just temporarily 'over extending' my bladder or something similar, and reminded myself not to hold it in so long in the future.

But when it started happening again last month and continued into this month, no matter how often I went for a pee, I started getting slightly worried, and began a bit of research on urinary tract infections online. Despite the fact that I had none of the main symptoms of urinary tract infections, ((For example, a strong and constant urge to pee, a painful burning sensation when peeing, and extra foul smelling pee,)) I decided that's what I had, and, as I generally despise doctors and taking strong medications of any kind, began to self medicate naturally by taking acidophilus in pill form, ((Which is a type of 'friendly bacteria' that helps regulate nearly everything in your body,)) Every day, along with drinking loads of water and cranberry juice and constantly peeing every twenty minutes or so.

The lower left pelvic pain lessened slightly after awhile, and I was quite proud of myself, thinking I was self cured of my suspected UTI. Eventually, though, the pain began to come back again full blast, and that's when I decided I'd better go to the doctor to have a urine sample tested --- The only way to truly know whether or not I was suffering from a UTI.

That was nearly two weeks ago. When I called a few days later to check on the results of the urine test, they told me that they hadn't received any sort of sample from me since 2008, when I had blood taken to check on the condition of my heart at the time, but they could see in their system that I had received care on the date I said I did, so they came to the conclusion that my urine sample had been, 'Er, misplaced,' and that they 'Couldn't speak for what had happened to it'.

I was very tempted to ask, in plain English, how the fuck an entire team of medical professionals lost a bottle of piss. Instead, I went in a few days later to give them a second sample --- And, miraculously, they didn't accidentally drink this one thinking it was a bottle of fresh apple juice like they obviously did with the first. Major props to them for that!

To be perfectly honest, I was desperately hoping that the results would come back positive, as this is a straight forward sort of thing to deal with --- But due to the fact that I have the shittiest luck in the entire world with these sorts of things, the results came back negative, meaning that there was no bacterial growth in my urine whatsoever, entirely ruling out the possibility of a UTI. ((Although I did have moderate amounts of white blood cells in my urine, which I find worrisome, as this isn't something that's normally supposed to happen ... But the doctors seemed entirely unconcerned about it, so I don't know what to think about that.))

They did, however, offer me a different explanation to the lower left pelvic pains I've been experiencing: The possibility of an ovarian cyst. Now, while this sounds rather frightening, I assure you it's not --- Almost every single woman experiences one or more cysts in one or both of her ovaries at some point in her life, and, most of the time, she won't even know it, as they're usually benign and eventually shrink down to nothing on their own.

However, for unknown reasons, sometimes they continue to grow larger and begin to cause discomfort, which is what the doctors think might be happening with me ... So I've been scheduled to have a pelvic ultrasound on the afternoon of 23 December. That's right, the day before fucking Christmas Eve.

Undoubtedly, my Christmas will be washed out with worries over whether or not I'll be able to piss the next time I sit on the toilet, ((I had some difficulty for a day or two where I wasn't able to properly 'get the flow going', and it was scaring the fuck out of me, as it's possible to entirely lose the ability to urinate altogether if things get even moderately bad down South ... Which is actually one of my worst phobias, along with the possibility of having to be catheterised. I literally start crying in fear if I even think on either directly, which has happened a lot these last few days,)) Whether or not the doctors will be able to figure out what's wrong with me, whether or not I'll have to deal with random pelvic pains for the rest of my life while doctors, family members, and friends alike all politely suggest if perhaps it's all 'just in my head' ... The list goes on forever.

And no, I'm not worried about the possibility of a cyst in my left ovary --- In fact, I hope there is one, because it's another very straight forward thing to take care of. You either leave it be for several weeks and see if it's shrunk, or you get cut open and get both the cyst and the problem cut out. Easy. Simple. Straight forward.

I can deal with these things. What I can't deal with is not knowing what the fuck is going on with my body, and the dread that I'm going to have to go through things I'm frightened of to try and figure it out --- Like the fact some doctors prescribe female patients birth control pills to control the growth of future ovarian cysts, something I am extremely uncomfortable with. I barely agree with birth control pills to do what they're meant to do, which is control birth --- No fucking way would I be able to handle taking them to do something entirely unrelated.

And before anyone questions me, it's not that I don't believe in practising safe sex --- I do! --- But it's that I don't believe in women filling up their bodies with so many harmful toxins and unnatural hormones like the ones that are present in every type of birth control pill, patch, and shot.

Weight gain, blood clots, shortness of breath, chest pains, strokes, heart attacks, cancer, dizziness, blurred vision, gall bladder disease, disinterest in sex ... These are all proven side effects of birth control that are rarely mentioned by drug companies, and for a reason: If every woman on Earth suddenly knew exactly how dangerous birth control was, then they'd very suddenly be without their source of cash.

Obviously, this isn't something they want to happen, so they continue to push the drug onto women of all ages to use for anything and everything. They don't just stop you from getting pregnant, girls! They also stop you from bleeding out your vagoo every month, feeling depressed, getting acne, and retaining water weight! OMG, how awesome is birth control?! Damn, load me up with a year's worth of packs and I'll take 'em all in one sitting!

-_-;

Needless to say, I'm always going to refuse any sort of birth control prescribed to me unless I'm planning to take it for its original intended use --- And even then, I'll look into alternatives before mindlessly accepting that it's the only method of birth control.

Ugh. Apologies for that lengthly, ((And likely boring,)) Explanation and accompanying rant about the medical problems I've been having lately. I only meant for it to be a couple hundred words, but it ended up being over one thousand five hundred. This is somewhat of a problem, as I still have three ((Much more cheerful)) More topics I'd like to discuss! Ack. x_X;

Ah, well, I'll just try and condense 'em and keep the word count under or around two thousand. I'm sure everyone's very used to my giant entries by now, anyway, haha. ^^;

Another thing I spoke of on Twitter recently: A monthly giveaway contest that I won from VampireWear.Com! ((A wonderful online store that I've blogged about in the past.)) This was, and still is, über exciting news to hear, as I very rarely win any contests at all, especially ones that win you actual prizes --- Which was VampireWear.Com's exclusive 'tribal fang' necklace, a pair of high quality ScareCrow brand fangs, plus a whole bunch of fun temporary tattoos --- And I already received all of these prizes in the mail the other day! >w<; Click the thumbnail below to check out a photo I took of 'em to share with you all.

And if you, too, would like to be entered each month to win similar prizes, then simply head on over to VampireWear.Com and sign up for their newsletter! After that, all you gotta do is wait ... And eventually, you may win their monthly giveaway, just as I did! *^^*

One more awesome thing that's helping to even out the failousity that is my life: My new winter coat! My Mum actually promised me for the last few years that she'd buy me any winter coat I wanted, as I haven't had one for years and years, ((I'm Canadian and I haven't had a winter coat for years --- I can hear you all 'Cool story, bro'ing me already, but sadly, it's true. I've simply been layering my army jacket over a plain black hoodie 'til now,)) But I never found one that I'd ever be able to stand wearing for any longer than five seconds until very recently, when I came across a pleather jacket made by a company called Obey.

As soon as I spotted it, I instantly knew I wanted it as my winter coat, and I begged my Mum to buy it for me until she finally gave in, even though she didn't really want to 'cause, to be honest, it's not much warmer than my army jacket and hoodie combo ... But who gives a fuck when I look hot wearing it, right?! I may be freezing off my ass, but Goddamnit, I'm gonna look swell doing so. o_o

Okay, I've got two more things left to talk about, and then I'll end this entry on a ((Very)) Happy note! ^_~

Today's 8 December, and that means it was the last day to submit your home address/PO box address to participate in The mallorymaloney.com Christmas Card Exchange! To those that weren't able to participate this year, for whatever reason, it seriously sucks that we couldn't exchange cards, but don't fret too much, m'friends --- There's always next year, hehe! n_n;

As for those who were able to participate, I'm going to start making all twenty one of your cards tomorrow and finishing them over the weekend ... And after that, I'll be going to the post office and sending them all out on Monday, which is 13 December --- So don't start checking your mailboxes 'til then at the very soonest, haha! ^u^

Alright, I've saved the best for last, so get ready, 'cause I'm gonna just blurt it out --- I've been holding in this intensely exciting news for much too long to pussyfoot around the subject, so, without further ado ...

I'M GOING TO NEW YORK CITY TO SEE GREEN DAY'S AMERICAN IDIOT BROADWAY MUSICAL FOR A SECOND TIME ON 26 JANUARY! O_O;

No, darklings, I kid you not, I'm seriously going to New York City, again, for a second time, to see the American Idiot musical --- And what's more, BILLIE JOE FUCKING ARMSTRONG IS GOING TO BE PLAYING THE PART OF SAINT JIMMY DURING THAT SHOW. *_*; He did this once before, way back in the end of September/the beginning of October, but that was only for a week --- This time around, he's doing a total of fifty shows as Saint Jimmy!

;She pauses IRL to stop herself from hyperventilating;

That's not all, though, oh no. No, no, no. There's plenty more all caps where those came from, because I MANAGED TO GET FRONT ROW TICKETS TO THE SHOW BY USING A SPECIAL CODE I FOUND ON IDIOTCLUB.COM, WHICH IS THE SITE FOR GREEN DAY'S OFFICIAL FAN CLUB. @_@; And I'll let you know something else --- And as much as I wanna put this in all caps, as well, I'm gonna resist, because I fear that it'll jinx the possibility if I try and act as if I'm taking the possibility for granted --- There's a small possibility I may be able to meet Billie Joe after the show.

A very small possibility, mind, because while he usually comes out of the stage doors and signs autographs after every single show, the area is usually so crowded that the closest you can get to him is fifteen feet, if you're lucky, as it's packed full of by people who, usually, have never even stepped foot inside the theatre ... But who want the chance to meet Billie Joe. I haven't quite decided if this is fair or not, but whatever --- Even if I don't get to meet Billie, that's alright, because I'm going to be so close to the stage when I see the show that it'll be just as good! ^o^

In fact, I'm technically going to be the closest I've ever been to a stage during a Green Day related event, as I've never even been barrier before during a Green Day concert ... So basically, I think I'm going to go and shit out my window now, 'cause I'm way too excited to do anything else. And this is somewhat of a problem, as my window doesn't fully open, due to the screen being of the irremovable variety, so ...

Yeah, this is going to be pretty interesting. o_o