Discoverer: Me, Mallory.

Signage: The packaging from a plain black plastic comb.

Date: 28 February 2010.

Notes: Finally, a hair care tool that absorbs a minimal amount of xRays! D'you know how long I've searched for a comb like this?! My entire freakin' life, man, that's how long! *_*

Discoverer: Kathryn.

Signage: An online ad for weight loss.

Date: 21 November 2009.

Notes: Finally, ad for crash dieting that shows a realistic 'after' photo!

Discoverer: Me, Mallory.

Signage: An ad from a local Rexall flier.

Date: Sometime mid April 2009.

Notes: Yeah, I love being able to 'breath' better. Thanks, Sara from Windsor. You've sure convinced me to buy Rexall Brand Nasal Strips! ^_^ As soon as I figure out what their use is, anyway. >_>; ((They're breath fresheners, right ...? Right?))

Discoverer: Me, Mallory.

Signage: The Salvation Army church's outdoor sign.

Date: 10 January 2009.

Notes: Oh. My. God. -_- If you excuse the pun for just a moment, we can begin to discuss all the things wrong with this sign. For example, personally, I only enjoy downloading things I want. Worries are not one of those things. o_o For another example; What, exactly, is this sign attempting to convey? 'Get online with God'? It'd make sense if there was a URL for the church below that line, or at least a further explanation. Are they trying to say that God's got an instant messenger you can contact him with? Does he want people to follow him on his Twitter account? Does he want more views on his YouTube channel? Or are they trying to let us know that there is, indeed, Internet access in Heaven ...? It's just all so very confusing. ._. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if there were uncountable automobile accidents on Coldwater road because of that sign. I truly would not be surprised.

Discoverer: Christine.

Signage: Christine's on screen TV guide.

Date: 27 January 2008.

Notes: Christine was thinking about watching a nice, wholesome, family friendly episode of About A Girl one evening --- But then she realised her television provider was blatantly lying ... Because family and child friendly shows don't normally document the history and uses of the ... Ahem ... 'F Word'. Tsk, tsk, Dish Network. Tsk, tsk.

Discoverer: Me, Mallory.

Signage: Packaging from a set of button pins.

Date: Christmas 2007.

Notes: Oh, those Asians! ^_^ They just have a way with words ...

Discoverer: Basically my entire family, who then told me, Mallory.

Signage: Our city's downtown Shopper's Drug Mart.

Date: 1 November 2007.

Notes: So, basically, whoever is in charge of Shopper's Drug Mart's light up sign, decided it'd be cooler if the place was known as the 'G Mart'. The plan went well, as gangstas from all over Canada flocked to the place, asking questions such as, 'Where in da mothafuck do ya'll keep yo bandanas?', 'Could ya show a brotha where da ammo at?', 'Aight, where da baggy pants dawg?', 'Two words yo, spinnin' rims. They be?', and so on. However, the plan backfired when the gangstas realised that this particular G Mart not be representing the hood. The gangstas are now in the midst of fucking Shopper's Drug Mart's shit up. Word to your mother.

Discoverer: My Dad.

Signage: Packaging from a mini keyboard.

Date: 22 January 2008.

Notes: According to the information on the package, this keyboard has a human body engineering design ... Which could only mean it's a transforming robotic superhero! O_O Electromagetism, away! *_*

Discoverer: Krystal.

Signage: Packaging from one of those 'bug zappers'.

Date: Around 2005.

Notes: Krystal was going camping, and thus decided to acquire a 'bug zapper', to keep those pesky mosquitoes away. This particular zapper seemed safe enough, according to the packaging ... But apparently in other countries, it's okay to lie about such things. The zapper was extremely painful if your hand brushed across it by accident --- Definitely not 'absolutely safe to touch with bare finger' at all.

Discoverer: Cameron.

Signage: Packaging from a knock off Bedaman toy set.

Date: 2005, 2006, or 2007. I honestly have no clue, this box has been around for quite awhile. @_@;

Notes: I pretty much died laughing after the first 'Precaution', but luckily I came back to life. That is, until I read the next few lines --- Now I'm basically an undead creature, thanks to the botched English.

Discoverer: Rhiannon.

Signage: An advertisement in the window of a restaurant.

Date: Sometime late May 2007?

Notes: Rhiannon was feeling a bit peckish one morning, and decided she might like a nice breakfast --- That is, until she completely lost her appetite ... Due to the fact that a professional business in the food industry cannot even spell the word 'menu'.

Discoverer: Craig and Cameron.

Signage: A fake Yu Gi Oh card.

Date: 22 March 2006.

Notes: This is why you don't buy knock off Yu Gi Oh cards from the dollar store --- They're really shitty! Or, rather, really 'poop'y.

Discoverer: Me, Mallory.

Signage: A Canadian souvenir.

Date: Sometime early January 2007.

Notes: So, you're back from visiting good old Canada, eh? Be sure to show off your souvenirs to everyone --- Especially your new lucky penny polar bear keychain! There's nothing more Canadian than that! Except ... Well ... When the penny isn't actually Canadian.

Discoverer: Me, Mallory.

Signage: A ladies underwear tag.

Date: Sometime June 2006.

Notes: Um ... Exactly what kind of touches are we talking about here?

Discoverer: Me, Mallory.

Signage: A large truck ...

Date: 5 August 2005.

Notes: Yep. No doubt about it. It's definitely the yellowest truck I've ever seen.

Special Side Note: The driver of this very yellow truck parked on our street so he could 'unnoticeably' visit the porn shop next door.