My name is Mallory Maloney.

Actually, to be more exact, my full name is Mallory Jacquelyne Elizabeth Maloney ... But I don't want to pull a Wendy on you and make you feel inadequate, what with your much shorter, much less impressive name and all. o_o

'What's your name?' Peter asked.

'Wendy Moira Angela Darling,' she replied with some satisfaction. 'What is your name?'

'Peter Pan.'

She was already sure that he must be Peter, but it did seem a comparatively short name.

'Is that all?'

'Yes,' he said rather sharply. He felt for the first time that it was a shortish name.

--- Excerpt from Peter Pan, by JM Barrie.

And if my name alone isn't impressive enough, wait until you hear the story behind it! In fact, you'd best take off your socks before you continue reading; Because they're going to be knocked off regardless --- Clear across the room! O_O

Got those socks off yet? Good.

Before I was born, my parents had no clue what to name me. They came up with several ideas while I was still in the womb, their favourite being Jem. But no matter how many times they picked up the idea and admired it, they couldn't quite bring themselves to use it, ((Thankfully,)) Considering they got the idea from the 1980's cartoon series of the same name. ((You should be thankful I wasn't named Jem, either --- Because if I had have been, you wouldn't be reading this page right now. I would've committed suicide on my way out of the womb via umbilical cord strangulation. >>))

Nope, luckily enough for me, my Dad was, ((And still is,)) A big Star Trek fan ... And while he was watching an episode one evening, a character's name jumped out at him. The name ...?

'Mallory'!

Mallory was a red shirted Lieutenant from the second season of Star Trek The Original series, and was featured in only one episode: The Apple. He died an untimely and ungraceful death in about the second scene ... After tripping over a rock. ((Alright, so it was an exploding rock, which is a bit cooler ... But still. >_> He died by tripping over a rock.))

However, the pitiableness of Mallory's death is evened out later on in the episode, when Captain Kirk realises Mallory is missing from his crew. He begins a frantic search for the Lieutenant, shouting, 'Mallory ...? Where are you? Mallory! Mallory?!' in terrified and panicked tones --- Which, obviously, is extremely thrilling. I mean, how often does Captain Kirk frantically call your name on Star Trek? o_o

So Mallory it was.

Meanwhile, my Mum was still focused on fitting 'Jem' somewhere into my name --- Absolutely determined, no question about it! So together, my parents came up with a secondary plan to do just that.

They picked out two middle names for me, instead of the more traditional single middle name. Why ...? Well, it's a bit clever, really --- Check out my name again, and the corresponding initials:

Mallory ... Jacquelyne ... Elizabeth ... Maloney ...

MJEM!

Much subtler, and much easier to bare than directly sporting the same first name as a badly dressed 1980's cartoon character with a multiple personality disorder. e_e;

But enough about my name --- There's loads of other things about myself I still want to tell you, so grab a cup of over sugared ginger tea and get comfy! ^w^

I was born on 29 July 1987, in Newmarket, Ontario. Ontario is one of Canada's most beautiful provinces, with some of the most beautiful towns and cities! ^^ I've lived in and around quite a few of those beautiful places, such as Toronto, Barrie, Kirkfield, Zephyr, Washago Beach, and Orillia --- Which is where I currently live, and have since about 1994.

While Orillia definitely has its faults, such as having only one mall, a downtown you can completely pass through in ten minutes if you walk slowly, a lot of artsy fartsy folkish people, an unbelievable amount of losers living off welfare, an equally unbelievable amount of mentally disabled people wandering about, and more teenage mothers, Tim Horton's, hair salons, and churches than you can count --- It does have its good points as well!

Like the fact every store in the city is within walking or biking distance for me, meaning I've never had to bother with driving and the ever inflating gas prices, or the fact that it's moderately quiet and peaceful for a city, or that large, gorgeous trees grow everywhere and anywhere, or that you can spot the lake from nearly any central place in the city, or that having so many churches means there's loads of beautiful cemeteries to explore, or the fact that most of the citizens are actually quite friendly toward others, regardless if they know them personally or not.

Of course, most of Orillia's citizens are never quite sure how to act when they pass me in the street. o_o; Not so much because of my actual physical appearance --- Although I'm often given the evil eye courtesy of other females, due to my naturally thick and wavy hair, large eyes, and super slim body --- But because I dress a little differently than most people. A sorta hybrid of different alternative fashions --- Borrowed and modified to create a style that I can call my own. ^^;

Although what I should call my style, exactly, I'm not sure! With elements from punk, goth, scene, skater, gothic lolita, decora, and even a bit of candy kid fashion, it's tough to pick just one name alone, that could accurately describe the way I dress overall. Of course, that doesn't stop others from coming up with their own titles --- Their favourite being 'emo', which can get just a tad annoying ... However, that's preferred over being asked, 'Did you get your entire outfit from Hot Topic?' ((Although this is actually pretty funny; When you consider the fact I'm Canadian ... And that Hot Topic is exclusively an American store. I've never even been inside one before! o_O))

My special snowflake style was probably brought on by the fact that I was homeschooled by my parents my whole life --- Meaning I wasn't exposed to that hive mind attitude, where everyone has to think, act, speak, and dress alike to be accepted ... And I'm very grateful for that, because when I was younger, I was a fuck of a lot more timid than I am now, almost pathetically so. ><;

I wasn't sure who I was, or how I wanted to express who I was ... And I think that if I had've attended 'normal' school, I would have just allowed myself to be swept along with everyone else, because it would have just been 'easier'. x_x Thankfully, though, this wasn't the case, and I was able to grow into my own person, at my own pace, which I'm very happy about.

For some people, the influence of religion shapes them into a better, stronger, and more confident person --- Not a chance for me, though, for as a child and tween old enough to understand the concept, I was strictly an Atheist. I didn't believe in anything spiritual, supernatural, or otherworldly whatsoever.

It was only when I grew older and became more open minded, that I realised Atheism wasn't for me at all ... It was simply too limited of a non religion for me! I wasn't sure what to decide, when one fateful day, I stumbled across the word 'Agnostic', and looked up the meaning in the dictionary, which was along the lines of; 'A person who believes that nothing is known, or can be known, about the existence of God'.

It fit exactly with my frame of mind and personal opinions, while still remaining a non religion. Perfect! So nope, it wasn't religion that helped me become a better person ... It was music. ^w^

Green Day's music, to be more specific! \m/_

I 'discovered' Green Day in August of 2004, when I first heard their song Minority ... Playing in the background of an online flash movie. ^^; I was instantly hooked! The lyrics, the guitars, the bass, the vocals --- I loved absolutely everything about the song, and I wanted to find out if the band had other songs as amazing as Minority ... So I began researching on Google.

Long story short, turns out this band Green Day did have other amazing songs ... Albums full of them, in fact! I began buying their CDs, one by one. A few short months later, I owned every album they had ever made ... And my life, ((And outlook on said life,)) Changed forever. In a good way, of course!

Thanks to what I took from Green Day's lyrics, I began to have more confidence. Around people I found it easier to act like myself, easier to dress the way I wanted, easier to just be ... Me.

I found it easier to deal with negative emotions just by thinking about Green Day's music --- For example, if I began to feel nervous, confused, worried, scared, or even angry, I would pull up appropriate Green Day lyrics from inside my head, and mull over them. This would calm me down and cheer me up --- Nearly every time without fail.

And as you may have already guessed, Green Day is still my absolute favourite band, as well as a continuing source of inspiration, muse, and happiness for me!

This is important, because unfortunately, I'm not a very 'happy' type of person in general. In fact, I can be an extremely angry, sarcastic, critical, pessimistic, paranoid, untrusting, selfish, overdramatic, emotionally distraught, obsessive worrier. x_x; Thankfully, though, I do have some good points to balance out all the negative ones! I can also be a very funny, kind, generous, creative, intelligent, loving, helpful, caring, and motherly type of person. ((If you catch me on a good day, that is. =_=))

But let's put my contradicting personality traits aside, and move on to my favourite hobbies and things to do, yeah? o_o;

I'm sure it's plain to see that I absolutely love webdesign first and foremost; Given the size and magnitude of mallorymaloney.com! I love everything about owning a site ... The image creation, the coding, the blogging, updating and managing pages, the visitors, giving and receiving comments from other site owners, making online friends ... Everything! ^^

Aside from webdesign, I'm also very much into anything that requires creativity! Things like writing my own poems, drawing anime styled characters, taking photographs of any kind, creating my own tutus, bracelets, necklaces, earrings, and hair accessories, meticulously going over every last detail whilst putting together new and outrageous outfits, singing covers of my favourite songs, making collages out of old magazines, newspapers, and other recycled items, painting pictures --- I even thoroughly enjoy childish arts and crafts, like making red and green paper chains for Christmas, 'hand turkeys' for Thanksgiving, or ghosts made out of tissues for Halloween. ^^;

I also adore spending time outside ... But usually only in the early summer. Riding my bike faster than what's considered safe, tricking on my Razor scooter, even just walking or running for hours --- If it's comfortably warm outside, and not too sunny, ((I get sunburnt fairly easily, which makes me extremely sick afterwards,)) I'm there! But in the winter ... Well, that's a different story. Sadly for little ol' Canadian me, I'm not into a single outdoor winter activity whatsoever. @_@;

Ice skating? Can't even stand up in a pair of ice skates. Skiing? Never been near a single ski in my life. Snowman building? Ugh, I hate having to change my gloves every ten minutes. Snowboarding? Exactly the same as skiing, just for a younger generation, in my opinion. Snowmobile riding? Why the fuck would I bother with that, when I can't even be bothered to drive a car?! Come on, try using your brain from time to time, you halfwit! =_=

Tobogganing? Hmm ... Alright, I lied --- Tobogganing must be the only outdoor winter activity I actually enjoy.

In fact, I love it! Well ... Aside from the part where you have to keep walking back up the hill. And the part where there's always lots of other annoying brats also tobogganing on said hill. And the cold snow part. And the freezing wind part. And the part where ice starts to grow on my nose and lips. And the part where snowflakes weigh down my eyelashes. >_>

Okay. So I only enjoy the sliding down the hill part.

Touching back on the holidays, I also enjoy the decorating aspect of nearly every holiday there is ... Meaning I'm usually in charge of the decorations, and even the decorative desserts! I make a birthday cake for pretty much everyone in my family each year, and I try to make each cake different from the last. In the past, I've made a cake in the shape of Kirby, a cake in the shape of SpongeBob SquarePants, and even a chocolate bar constructed cake in the shape of castle! As for Christmas; I'm known to make detailed gingerbread houses and gingerbread men galore! ^x^

Speaking of my family, we're a pretty, er ... 'Special' group of people. Think The Brady Bunch ...

Meets The Munsters. o_O

I'll tell you about my three little brothers first --- All of them intelligent, funny, lovable; And highly annoying.

First there's eight year old Riley, who has greenish blue eyes and shaggy blonde hair. He can work a computer and browse the Internet better than most adults; And with his little eyeglasses he has to wear all the time, he sometimes resembles a miniature adult. He always picks out his own outfits each morning, and puts up a big fuss if his favourite clothes are in the wash. He also insists on wearing a different coloured sock on each foot most days.

Then there's eleven year old Craig, who has dark brown eyes and messy brown hair to match. He's always extremely serious --- Yet extremely sarcastic at the same time. He's got a surprisingly wide, ((And surprisingly colourful,)) Vocabulary, and can usually be found playing and creating Adobe Flash computer games, reading novels intended for teens, or acting melancholy. He doesn't care much about clothing, unless he's getting dressed up to go out somewhere --- Then he usually picks out blue jeans and a simple, ((Yet colourful,)) Tee shirt to wear.

Last but not least, there's seventeen year old Cameron, who has brownish greenish eyes and brown hair, forever in a trademark buzz cut. ((Much to the annoyance of our Mum.)) He's constantly coming up with jokes and antics that crack the rest of the family up, and he's usually quite cheerful about everything. He's also very much into Adobe Flash, having taught Craig everything he knows ... He can create nearly anything with the program. Games, animations, eCards, site layouts, entire sites, you name it! Cameron wears baggy black jeans, and matching oversized black tee shirts exclusively ... No arguments!

My Mum and Dad, both the heads of the family, have both homeschooled all four of us since we were babies, as well as supported us by managing and running their own businesses: My Dad runs a locksmith store named First Key Security, and my Mum runs a hair salon named First Key Salon. ((Both are usually abbreviated as FKS --- That way both businesses can share the same phone line.)) The locksmith store is attached to our house, as our garage was professionally converted into a locksmith store around 1994, and our previously unused front room was converted into a salon in 2009.

My Mum's a very hard worker --- She's always on the go or pouring over a mental to do list! She still manages to spend time with the family, though, whether it's watching TV with everyone, making us extremely delicious suppers, taking us kids out on shopping trips, or just hanging out and talking. She likes trying out the latest fashion trends, mixed with her own style of daring colours, ((Like tangerine orange and lime green,)) Vintage thrift store finds, designer purses and eyeglasses, dangly necklaces ... And an impressive range of freakin' fabulous shoes. *_*

My Dad's more 'laid back' than my Mum, with a lot of adolescent like energy and a love of humour. He's extremely smart, with a genius level IQ, and he's pretty much a master of all trades, to boot. Locksmithing, safecracking, electronics, mechanics, maths, debating ... You name it, chances are he's an expert at it! Dad's always wearing trim black jeans and a matching black tee shirt, which usually has a random company, organisation, or band logo on the front, along with his ever present black rimmed eyeglasses. He's also known to wear Converse shoes and studded belts from time to time; Which I've always thought was completely awesome.

While I prefer the company of my family over others, I prefer the company of myself overall. I know it's generally frowned upon not to have a massive group of friends and a lengthy list of people you must associate with on an hourly basis, but to be honest, I don't give a shit. Frown upon me all you want --- I simply don't see the logic of needing a posse of people to depend or rely on, and I don't see myself changing in this regard anytime soon.

As you might expect, I've never had much luck in the boyfriend department, either. I've only been in two relationships, ((If you can even call them that,)) And they were both completely horrible.

The first boyfriend was a messiah complexed, misanthropic, obsessive control freak, who enjoyed abusing me mentally every chance he got. I broke up with him after three years of feeling worthless, stupid, weak, confused, and guilty.

The second boyfriend was a sexually perverted, overweight loser, who only dated me in an attempt to get sex --- And attempted to get what he wanted by force. I broke up with him immediately after this happened, just a few short weeks after we began dating.

Thankfully, I had learnt my lesson back with boyfriend number one: If he makes you unhappy in any major way, dump his pathetic ass immediately --- Don't wait around, hoping things will get better. They rarely do, and the odds just aren't worth the heartache or the headache.

Solitariness and emotasticness aside, overall I'm quite content with the person I've become over the years! I very much believe in the quote, 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' Granted, it's not always easy to believe in such a statement when I'm going through a particularly difficult time in my life ... But over and over again, it always turns out to be true, which makes each new hurdle life throws at me that much easier to jump over!

And I'm no Olympic athlete, man. But if I was, that quote'd probably be my steroid of choice.

That, or a line from a Green Day song.